For most people that publish Android apps, the following happens:

  1. Write App
  2. Publish On Marketplace
  3. People Download
…    4. Get _harrased_ by marketing e-mails promising you’ll make millions of pounds with in-app purchases.

In true form, the following landed in my inbox:

Hi Orange Tentacle Ltd,

My name is Quinn, Senior Account Manager at TapContext. I was playing around with one of your apps and liked it. I just wanted to reach out to hear about your current monetization strategy and to give you an idea of what we offer at TapContext: contextually targeted ads and payouts a bit higher (quite a bit higher) than other ad networks.

Our network CPM right now runs over $4, Interstitials in the USA over $8 CPM and sometimes close to $12 CPM, and developer earnings per download are on average over 3 cents!

We are always interested in finding new developers, with cool apps, to work with and help them generate the most amount of revenue as possible. I would like to jump on a phone call (my cell is 347.698.7156) or Skype call (my skype is quinn.mccullough) if you are available. Please let me know! If you don’t have time for a call, you can check out our website at: Thanks,


“I was playing around with one of your apps.”, left me asking “really?”. So I called bullshit on Twitter:


I wasn’t the only one to receive the e-mail either…


So I was then surprised to actually get a tweet from Quinn himself:


Fair enough. So I gave him my e-mail address, and honestly didn’t really expect to receive a response. Then the following arrives:

Hi Kian,

I’m glad we were able to find you on twitter and touch base. You have a very interesting blog and twitter feed. It’s also good that we can clear the air – hoping to be downgraded from the Bollocks category – maybe Nancys, Wankers, or Cheeky would be more appropriate. 😉

The app that we played was your Gorillas app. My peer and I wasted several hours – don’t tell our funders – trying to hit each other in the face with bananas. (My peer is female). Unfortunately I lost every time – purposefully of course to make her happy. She still rejected my appeal to enjoy a few drinks Friday afternoon.

As for feedback on the app – I think it is well done. When developing classic games, there are not many deviations that are acceptable to maintain the classic’s integrity. You have done well – I commend you for that. The sun opening its mouth when a banana flies by – well done.

I’m looking forward to staying in touch. I won’t add any dull sales pitch of how we could generate more ad revenue for you in this email. 😉

That’s a reasonable e-mail. Quinn has taken the time to give a personal response, and done his research. Gorillas is an old game, and to be honest, is a bit of a nightmare on current hardware (heck, it has problems on high resolution screens).

To his due, he’s made a good effort, and it’s appreciated.

I’m afraid I can’t downgrade him from “Bollocks” to either “Nancy”, “Wanker” or “Cheeky”. Where I’m from, those are mostly terms of endearment. However, I have downgraded him from “Bollocks” to “Marketing”, which is a small step down.

Well played Quinn, well played.