Kian Ryan (.NET, Android, Geekery)

I just came across an old e-mail I sent back in 2010. The tooling may have changed a bit, but the ideas still hold true:

1. Thou shalt not break the build.
1a. If thoust breakith the build, thoust better bloody well fix the build.
1b. If thoust not fixith the build, I will come after ye with Matilda.
1c. Thou does not want to find out what Matilda is.
2. Thou shalt not bypass the build process.
(no good ever comes of it, and it *never* saves time in the long run)
3. Thou shalt start, stop and resolve thy JIRA tickets in a timely manner.
4. Thou shalt not put up front-end code that hath not passed the HTML/XHTML validator.
5. Thou shalt not put CSS or Javascript inline.
5a. Evar.
6. Thou shalt not reinvent the wheel.
6a. Even if your reinvented wheel floats in the air. Some poor bugger has to maintain it.
7. Thou shalt put thy faith (and all new projects) into the Holy Trinity (Subversion, CruiseControl.NET, JIRA).
7a. Without exception.
7b. Unless you’ve got a very, *very*, *VERY* persuasive argument you can communicate effectively whilst being nibbled alive by rabid gerbils.
8. Thou shalt commit thy code (at least) daily.
9. Thou shalt not worship false backup files (.bak, _old, .bak.old).
9a. Thou shalt verily never commit backup files, data files or SVN metadata files into thine repository.
9b. Because I then have to spend two hours picking them back out. And that really peeves me off (see 7b for suitable punishment).
10. If in doubt, thy should ask. It’s good to talk[TM]

If in doubt remember the eleventh commandment:
11. Code as if the next guy to maintain your code is a homicidal maniac who knows where you live.

I admit plagiarism for number 11.

Back in 2009, I developed a version of “The Massive Dev Chart” for Android under license by the original owners of the IP, “Digital Truth”. Last year they released their own version of the application and politely asked me to withdraw mine, to which I agreed (these had been the standard arrangements agreed to in 2009). No problems there.

AppsLib had grabbed copies of my “free” applications and posted them to their own library, without my consent. They then sent me the following mail:

Hello,

I have found your app ‘The Massive Dev Chart’ on the web and it runs properly on Archos Tablets.

Your application is well done.

Appslib provides a dedicated area for Android tablets users to download apps suited to their devices. You could find more info at www.appslib.com

We have created an Account for you on Appslib with the following login and password:
http://appslib.com/developers/index.html
Login: [REDACTED]
Password: [REDACTED]
You can manage your app, follow your statistics and removed your app at any time. You can also publish some other apps and it is totally free.

We have pre-uploaded your app and we are waiting for your confirmation to publish it on AppsLib.

I hope to talk to you soon.

Best regards

The AppsLib Team

Back in 2009, this wasn’t a problem, so I let it lie. Fast forward to 2012, and I receive the following e-mail:

Hello Android app developer,

Just a reminder that your application is now posted on AppsLib.
There are all the details to manage your developer account on appslib.com below.
Please let me know if you see any problems.

Thanks

Belinda Sherlos
The AppsLib Team

Remembering they have a copy of “The Massive Dev Chart”, I look to find a way to remove my account. Couldn’t find anything anywhere, just some publish/unpublish options for individual applications. Not too happy about this (I didn’t ask for an appslib account in the first place) I fired the following e-mail over:

Hello,

I wish to remove my account ([REDACTED]), and all applications you hold for our company.

I can not see a way to do this through your portal. Please advise how to do this.

Thanks,

Simple, straightforward and to the point. You hold applications I no longer have the right to distribute on an account I didn’t ask for. I want to remove my account and those applications. I was expecting to need to do a little hoop-jumping, possibly fire over some form of authorisation, since I was sending this mail from a different e-mail address to the one registered. In reply, I received the following e-mail:

Hello,

Thank you for your email.
As per your request your applications have been deleted from appslib. They are now no longer visible or downloadable by the 2 million appslib users who, as they have non google certified devices without access to Android Market, now have no possible method of downloading your applications.

Thank you again

Belinda

Ouch. That stings a little, not really a particularly good bit of developer relations… I take problem with the phrase “now have no possible method of downloading your applications”. No? Are you saying that you, AppsLib, are the only alternative to Google Play? REALLY?

So how about:

• Direct download of APK from the developers website?
• The Amazon App Store?
• AndAppOnline?
• Opera App Store?
• The Venerable GetJar?
• And Handango is still going as well

Funnily enough, the most I’ve had from any of these (and I’ve had a few contacts) are introductory e-mails, some offers and details about the services they offer. At no point have any of these opened an account for me, uploaded my applications, nor derided my decision to no longer user their services. In short, at any point in the future I will be more willing to deal with anyone else other than you.

“Thank you again”.

For those that haven’t yet got the hint, I have a lot of love for my Kobo.

The screen fascinates me the most about the device. I can read on it for hours with no fatigue, which sets it apart from LCD screens and their ilk. Because of the static nature of the screens, reading on them is truly closer to reading on paper than a traditional active screen.

Most e-readers come with some choice of fonts, and some come with the ability to side-load fonts. The Kindle by default uses Caecilia, which is a heavy font, quite similar to Rockwell. It also comes with a Times-type font and a Helvetica-esque sans-serif font. The Kobo by default comes with quite a selection: Amasis, Avenir, Delima, Felbrige, Georgia, Gill Sans and Rockwell.

I spend (spent is possibly now more accurate) a lot of time reading Sci-Fi paperbacks; some modern, some from the 60s and 70s. Some of these books contain typeface information (although not as many as I would like), and four fonts kept recurring: Times, Palatine, Plantin and Sabon. Times in it’s various forms was adopted for being able to squeeze more letters on paper. Palatine is one of the pre-cursors to the legend that is Palatino. Plantin appears to have been designed to work well on both coarse and smooth paper, and adapts well to E-Ink screens. Sabon was designed so that bold and italic versions would occupy the same physical space as normal roman characters. This could prove useful with some e-readers that “crash” italic characters together when combined with normal roman characters.

I’ve been reading with Palatine for some time now, and although I have flirted with the other fonts, I keep going back to Palatine. It’s weighted slightly heavier than the others, which makes it very suitable for reading on E-Ink and give me the sensation of reading a paperback. I would not be surprised if this is having a dopamine-releasing effect on me, it’s that pleasing. Reading a font like Rockwell is not a pleasant sensation, my brain feels a stabbing sensation in the side of my head as I’m reminded this isn’t real paper, and I’m a traitor to dead-trees. I suspect this kind of psychological hangover, a ghosting effect of 20-plus years of reading culture will effect the younger generation less as time goes on.

So what fonts do you lot use to read with? And yes, I did side-load Comic Sans, for the lulz.